At our house, it's a little different. Rachel looks forward to dressing up almost all year. That's the part she likes (costumes, as long as there are NO tags, only soft, "non-itchy" fabric, nothing binding...) But when the big night comes, she FREAKS out. Now, I'm no fan of scary things, by far, but she is TERRIFIED of other people being dressed up, especially any kind of mask, not to mention actually frightening costume OR even decorations. So, we don't get passed a couple of doors before she is screaming & begging to go home.( Jim's been such a good sport & accompanied us several years, making it more fun for me.) The sad thing is, when we get home, she doesn't want to open the door for anyone in a costume. (although last year, she watched Jim give out candy at his house!?) So we just crash at someone else's house, or come home and keep all the porch lights, etc. off, to keep trick-or-treaters away. I can't imagine how frustrating it is for her to be so excited about getting dressed up & then the reality of not being able to deal with the festivities.
This photo is from 4 years ago...once we made it home, she was happy being dressed up with Rosebug!
So now, I pretty much just plan on comfortable costumes for her & the dog each year & try to not expect anything other than a dress-up night. After all, the holiday is supposed to be fun, NOT torture for the children OR parent! Changing my expectations has made a big difference in both of our happiness factors. Change is not bad, just different. I remind myself, of that, MANY times a day! I know change is easiER for me, but unbearable for those with Asperger's.
The fears were brought to my attention in a big way, one day 2 weeks ago. We were at Michael's, shopping for things to decorate her hat for "Race for the Cure", coming up this weekend. I had not been thinking about Halloween decorations, etc. before entering the store. We picked up some pink paint for her hat & made it halfway through the store, BUT one of those movement sensored decorations went off. It was a gauzy-ghost creature moving, with eerie sounds... Rachel SHOT like a ROCKET, screaming down the aisle. I set the paint down & went to find her. NO Rachel. Pretty soon, several others were helping me look for her. I finally thought to check outside...that's right, she had screamed & run her way right out of the store. Needless to say, I had to go back for the paint another day without her. And by-the-way, have you noticed EVERY store this time of year has these types of "decorations"? I cannot go into the pharmacy, grocery, large chains, restaurants....at all with her, this month. But, November will be here before we know it.
Change is NOT an option (for the most part) for Aspies, but a requirement for family and friends of those with Asperger's.
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