Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine -a must read

     Wanted to share with you an exceptional book! I was recently at the beloved Davis-Kidd bookstore closing sale in Nashville. Above the many treasures I found heavily discounted, was a recommendation by the lady checking my piles of books out. She noticed several books on special needs/ Autism... And out of the blue, asked me if I had read Mockingbird, yet. After telling her I had not even heard of it, she informed me it was about a young girl with Asperger's, and continued on, telling me how much it changed the way she understood Asperger's and differences in thinking. That was enough for me.

   They were already sold out, but as soon as I got back to Florida, I went to Barnes & Noble & found this treasure! If you are interested in a good read, this is one! (it is currently on sale at Barnes & Noble on-line) I read it in an afternoon. Could not put it down until I finished it! Although it is fictional, the author did a lot of research on Asperger's & completely nailed it! I felt like I knew this little girl, Caitlin. And I also realized I'm not alone in raising an Aspie. Although there are a wide range of characteristics, some things are just "black and white"! I am sharing a quote from the author's website regarding/introducing the book.

              "MOCKINGBIRD  (National Book Award, 2010)

 In Caitlin’s world, everything is black or white.  Things are good or bad.  Anything in between is confusing.  That’s the stuff Caitlin’s older brother, Devon, has always explained.  But now Devon’s dead, and her father cries a lot.  Caitlin wants to get over it, but as an eleven-year-old girl with Asperger’s, she doesn’t know how.  When she reads the definition of “closure” in the dictionary, she realizes that is what she and her father need.  In her search for Closure, Caitlin discovers that not everything is black and white--the world is full of colors--messy and beautiful, and it is through this discovery that she embarks on a road which leads her to find both healing and Closure."

         If you do get the book & read it, I would love to get your take on it. And, if you have any other books that you recommend, please share them with us. Thank you for your support & encouragement!

Confusion at Church

    Oh literalism, you have again caused Rachel confusion & me a difficult time, trying to help Rachel understand symbolism.
     Rachel's lifelong buddy, Mollie, was recently baptized. It was so very exciting to learn of Mollie's decision & her desire to serve Christ. I was out of town when it occurred, but Mom was here with Rachel & happily went with Rachel to Beville Road Church of Christ to witness & rejoice with Mollie & her family!
    Mom had already told me about it, and when I got home, Rachel began sharing a little about it. She kind of dropped the subject (which never happens with Asperger's, as they go on & on..... for hours, days, even weeks & months about things, completely obsessing).
    I was somewhat relieved that she had shared, but did NOT obsess. Silly me...while I was thinking she had moved on to other current events, I was suddenly made aware that she was still pondering Mollie's decision. Rachel, finally, one day said: "I think it would be good to be a Christian, but I don't want to eat a person."!
    How do you explain that the Lord's Supper is "symbolic" to someone who does not understand or think in symbolic terms? All this time, at church, & she thought we were cannibals. After a long talk, I still am not sure she understands the symbolic/substitute factor. All of this I'm sharing to let you understand how many of the things we take for granted, can be so baffling to an Aspie!
    While I'm on the subject of church...I am reminided of how many terms, adjectives, etc. I need to use when describing things to Rachel. After several people that were greatly loved passed, the subject of heaven came up, time after time. Rachel knew that it is going to be beautiful, perfect, great, happy...But one day, she caught me by surprise, when she asked me if "heaven was a good place?". After I reassured her & we talked a while, she informed me, that no one had ever said "heaven is good". She was needing to hear it worded like that. I'm just thankful that she asked me, instead of continuing to think it was not good, simply because she had not heard anyone state it with the word "good". Words are important to everyone & I have been reminded, there is no way to overclarify with an Aspie!

"Gross"...Harry Potter?

   Oprah was on last Friday, at our house. She was doing an interview with the one & only J.K. Rowling. She is the tremendously successful author of the Harry Potter series (fyi- for the possible 1 person on the planet unaware...). Rachel happened to be walking through the room, when she said "Yes, Harry Potter IS gross.".
    O.K. Under normal circumstances, I would choose to ignore that comment, but when you try to interpret what an Aspie says, it actually made sense. Rachel heard Oprah quoting how much Ms. Rowling had "grossed" from her Harry Potter series. How else could she possibly interpret that? I just laughed quietly; briefly tried to explain the meant meaning & finally, just decided to let that one go. Some things are more trouble to explain, than what the actual difference is, anyway!
      (No, she has never read them or seen the movies, but just the movie trailers led her to believe Harry Potter is "gross".)

Jesus snored. Really?!?

       Well, the Christmas music is playing non-stop at our house! We love the cozy feelings of family, friendships and the holidays (minus the stress)! I've certainly loved Christmas all my life and heard many versions of the holiday songs and carols.
       BUT, I was reminded of a Rachel "observation", from last year. We were listening to the "Do you hear what I hear?" song. I was just singing away... After the song was over, Rachel said "Jesus must have snored loudly"....Thinking, thinking....thinking some more...Then I asked why she said that? She reminded me, in the song "Do you hear what I hear? A child, a child, sleeping in the night..."! That's right, the only way we could hear Jesus sleep, was if He was snoring...loudly!
         Asperger's....they do have a point! Thought you might enjoy her observation!

You've gotta laugh!

      Many times, tooth brushing time is a struggle at our house! I think I have alluded to that before. But to refresh those "charming" memories, with sensory integration problems, it can be a nightmare. The gag reflex, the smell, the touch... you get the picture.. not fun. She sometimes gags just walking into the bathroom, before even touching her toothbrush. I must say, she does not actually throw up much, now! Woo Hoo, that has been such an improvement to the start of our days!
     OK, back to the topic...(it's just nice to appreciate the successes at our house)! So, this morning, Rachel was getting ready to brush & Rosebug (our dog) did something silly causing Rachel to laugh. I then started laughing, which caused Rachel to do her "fake" laugh. Of course that only made me laugh harder, because I was remembering back when... Rachel is 10, now, but about a year ago, she suddenly started laughing when she attempted to brush her teeth. I thought it a little odd, but have learned nothing is really odd, living with an Asperger's child!!! This continued for a while & I figured it was better than tears, so didn't think much more about it.
      It finally got to be time to head to the dentist again (now THAT, is a real nightmare!). On the way, she let me know what a good job she had been doing with her teeth.....She said she had "laughed" almost everytime she brushed...waiting...waiting....(you do a lot of that, trying to figure where their thoughts & words are going), waiting....FINALLY, she announced, "well, the dentist told me it was important to tickle my gums, everytime I brush!".     OH! you guessed it, she "had" to laugh to follow the dentists orders to "tickle" her gums! You've gotta laugh!  ;0)

Black Friday Rachelism

     So, today, we ventured out into the crazy world of Black Friday. I know that's nothing unusual, but, have you ever tried to shop with an Aspie? All we needed was a pair of solid black sneakers for Rachel's school's Honey Bears dance team. They have 3 parades to dance in, coming up in the next couple of weeks. Have you ever tried to find solid black sneakers, with NO logos, etc. for a girl?
     We were trying to avoid the Christmas crazies, seeing as how, Christmas is not really on my radar, yet. Anywho, thought you might enjoy this...Rachel asked if it was Halloween.?....Long pause...I asked why?...She was afraid of the beautifully dressed mannequins at Macy's. So, I waited a few more seconds...and asked why?  "Because someone cut their heads off!".  Yep, that's our Black Friday, but hey, think of all the money we will save, being unable to go in a mall!
    Happy Belated Thanksgiving! We all have so much to be thankful for...a.k.a. our sense of humor and our family & friends! I thank GOD, I am not in this world alone!

Thankful for Good Days/Times

     First, let me apologize for slacking on my blogging...these last few weeks have been particularly trying at our house & at Rachel's school. An Asperger's parent doesn't have the time or "luxury", if you will, to be sick or feel bad. (Which most often means illnesses drag out, due to little or no relief.)
     Rachel's aggression has reared its trying head! She has gotten into some "unacceptable" behavior at school. The difficulty with Aspie's (one of them) is their inability to interpret their peer's intentions, acceptance, feelings... you get the picture. The social ques are just not seen, to put it simply. This has resulted in Rachel getting into a "fight" at school. Needless to say, ughhhh.... It's so difficult to help them realize how other people feel & what other's expect...they have a very different interpretation, than the "norm", socially.
     She happened to have a Dr.'s appointment on Tuesday, which was good timing for us. Unfortunately, her Dr. is relocating, so we get to adjust to a new one...She was somewhat helpful, but gave some honest opinions of our situation. It is frightening thinking of the potential future, but that's where taking life one day/ or even one hour at a time will hopefully continue to help not getting & staying completely overwhelmed. And, there is nothing like prayer and faith. I cannot imagine facing this life without God's love & grace.
      The doctor brought up the subject of those "wonderful" hormones kicking in & basically said to expect things to get more trying. She's only 10 & I know her little body is changing, but yikes!! Worse?
     Asperger's  predominately affects boys. All of the people I know that have children with this diagnosis have sons. I would love to be able to talk to a parent of an Aspie girl. If you know one, please, send them my way, particularly if they have already survived this phase. Anywho... life has not been all bad...she continues having Rachelisms on a daily basis. I will share some with you soon.
   And, next week, her Nana, my mom, is coming to be with Rachel, while I escape to Chicago for a few days. THANK YOU MOM! Did I ever tell you, I have the best Mom & Dad in the world? Well, I just did & I mean that with all my heart. I am so blessed, which also means Rachel is so blessed. I know they will have a wonderful time of sharing. Rachel is sooooooo excited (So am I & thankful!)!!!
     Nana & Papa are an integral part of Rachel's village! Can't wait to have mom here!