Feline Wear Confusion....

OUCH!
    This morning, I was awakened from my sleep by a confused Aspie. She said "I'm mixed-up and need to know something, right NOW!" (3:27 a.m.) I'm usually the one that is baffled, so I figure this must be important.  ;0)
    "WHY, does the Cat in the Hat wear gloves?"
     If she had been any other child, I would have thought it was a riddle... BUT, she's not! And why on earth did that question require me to be rushed to consciousness? Just one of the normal exceptions to "the rules", by a uniquely wired Aspie.
    Once I am alert enough to know, that this is not going to go away shortly, I begin trying to ask the obvious...to me.
    I say "I don't know; why does the Cat in the Hat wear a hat?"  Well, that was really dumb of me not to know!... "He is the Cat in the HAT...he has to wear it. He's NOT the Cat in the Gloves!"....o.k.
    "Well, why does he always wear a red bow tie?"
    Eye roll... "It's just a fancy collar!"...oh... (I was too sleepy to think to ask why/how the Cat speaks, AND speaks in "human English"? instead of Rachel's preferred "catlish") Now...my migraine is making itself known! Ouch... an unwelcomed distraction from the question regarding a cat wearing gloves.
    Do you remember the newspaper column "Dear Abby"?  Oh, how I wish there was a source to turn to, to answer these "earthshaking" questions... Maybe we need a "Dear Aspie" column, during these modern times & challenges...
    Here are some of my guesses and suggestions regarding the Cat in the Hat wearing gloves...
1) He is being considerate and doesn't want to scratch anyone.
2) He just got a manicure.
3) His nails are embarrassingly short.
4) His nails are embarrassingly long.
5) He is allergic to something.
6) He doesn't want to scare anyone.
7) He likes to play dress-up.
8) He is hiding something in his gloves.
9) He has sensory issues.. (something she can understand, but not a good reason for a cat)
10)He is a cartoon.. and cartoons are not nature & never make sense!
...
(At the time, I didn't think to ask her why he only wears them on his front paws?)

   All of which were disregarded as a big "NO"! So, the question is still unanswered to Aspie satisfaction... WHY does the Cat in the Hat wear gloves? Feel free to offer any guesses... PLEASE!

Wanted/Needed Aspie Interpreter

      This morning began as most mornings do around here. Medicine time, first. Rachel did a great job taking hers,this morning. No complaints, no dragging it out, stalling... Smooth starts always make my day better!
      She even promptly began washing the syringes... from her meds. She then said "Can you tell, I'm taking a role call?"   Huh? I didn't know what she was talking about, (per norm), so I just smiled. She then asked again. I guessed maybe "A role call of your meds?". "NO!" Frustration sets in on both sides!
    She finished cleaning up...only to proclaim again: "I did the role call fast." ....Silence...I chose to ignore what I couldn't decipher.
    As I'm cleaning up the rest of the kitchen, she is getting more and more frustrated. When she finally says "I'm roll on."  Hmmm.... Huh? I ask where are you rolling? She says "No, no, no. Can't you see, how fast I took my medicine and cleaned up? I'm roll on!"
    Alas, another Rachelism. I then ask, (after the light bulb flashed above my head), "Oh, so you are on a roll?"...." NO! "I'm roll on, you know, getting things done faster than usual!"
    Ah... Asperger's and the nuances of the English language. Does anyone know of an Aspie Interpreter? I need one!

Fishy Summertime!




Fish Cake - 6/11/11

         When it's book fair time, at school, most kids are picking out the "popular at the moment" books. This year it seems to have been Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, chapter books, the ever popular Harry Potter...(all of which, she has limited interest in, if any). If you want an original selection, take an Aspie to a book fair!

         At Rachel's first book fair, she chose a cookbook. I was not terribly surprised, simply because, not a lot can surprise me any more. What did pleasantly surprise me is the retained interest in this book.

     Last year when she was making her Christmas "list" for Santa, she wanted cookbooks. Well, he fulfilled that wish. We, now, are owners of numerous cookbooks, geared towards interesting children in cooking. Once again, I thought that interest would wane, BUT... this summer I discovered a fun way of using these books to solve more than one need for Rachel:



Some of Rachel's Favorite Cookbooks



    1) Rachel's reading skills, lag behind her peers', so, I'm always looking for ways to sneak in some reading that actually interests her. Cookbooks seem to do that, and have expanded her vocabulary as well, while using up countless patience & energy on my part. Aspie's learn differently. What can I say?

    2)Rachel's had some problems with measurements & the concept of time. I've discovered she's much more willing to work on telling time when she knows our food creation depends on being promptly on time, whether cooking, mixing, chilling, cooling... She is getting a "little" better grasp on how long a segment of time is. (Although she still asks if 15 minutes is a long time....) Cooking is filled with fractions, problem-solving...

    3)Rachel loves to create and plan! If you know her, personally, you know that is an understatement!  ;0)  Well, what better way to actually use some of these obsessions & compulsions than trying to help her learn how to plan, to shop, and to prepare food. (Although, it has been kind of tricky, talking her into a product that has an ounce or two, more or less, than the recipe calls for.)
   4)Rachel loves science, so we are looking at our cooking time as experiments. She has come up with a LOT of hypotheses, steps, conclusions, causes... which she, at times, eagerly records in her notebook!
   5)And the most obvious benefit to me, is we are doing something that is useful, while being creative, and allows us some "fun" time together, creating what I hope will be good memories for a long time!
   
      After all, every one's got to eat!


Spring Veggie Fritata - 6/11

     So, this summer, we have already tried a few new items, including a fish-shaped cake. (Of course, she would not let me call it a goldfish, since it was not golden enough. I resisted the urge to ask her to compare it to the Goldfish brand snack crackers.) You've got to pick your battles, as you all know!  ;0)
     We also made a "Spring Veggie Fritata". I let her cut up the asparagus into 1/4s, etc.... She first measured the lengths of the spears, but I eventually got her to somewhat estimate the cuts, since she was terribly upset that "this one is longer..."
     So far, everything we've attempted has turned out o.k. I don't know how I will handle it, WHEN something falls apart, etc.

       All I CAN say, is, at this point, her original book fair choice has provided much interest and many unforeseen opportunities for "us". I would love to hear about some of the "fun" and helpful activities you have encountered this summer, with your child!



Latest Book Fair Choice



     I'm thankful we have such a variety of cookbooks to choose from. I'm thinking we should not run out of ideas and projects for along time. Which is something I am extremely thankful for, considering her most recent book fair selection! (See picture, posted above!)  
    Have a creative week!







Surfers for Autism- Cocoa Beach Event ROCKED!

Rachel with some of her volunteer surfing helpers at the Cocoa Beach event!  www.surfersforautism.org/

     Have you ever wanted to volunteer, but not sure what would be the best use of your time, talents, energy, spirit...? Do I have a recommendation for YOU! Those of you that personally know me, know that I have  some causes that I adore & enjoy helping however I can. But I have found a new one to recommend. SURFER'S FOR AUTISM! They are on Facebook... but words don't do their efforts, service & love justice! I saw a variety of volunteers, including: many college students, surfing schools, complete families (parents & kids), pro-surfers, self-proclaimed beach bums, folks that traveled hundreds of miles to volunteer...


Rachel: self appointed "Hula-Hoop Champ"!

    Saturday, June 4, 2011 was the third annual "Space Coast Surfers for Autism" at that location, in Cocoa Beach. This group has events at various beaches throughout the year. The atmosphere was wonderful! I had trouble imagining what it would be like, beforehand, knowing there would be 200 Autistic "surfers" in one limited location. Go ahead...take a minute and imagine. The possibilities were endless in my imagination, before the event.


"Got a Butterfly Tattoo! I'll never bathe again!"

     The event is an all day event at the various locations. Official hours are 9am-4pm. Of course the main calling is the opportunity to surf, but it was so much more than just that! They had a variety of tents set up, with opportunities for the kids (although any age is welcomed, for the first 200 pre-registering) including, bean bag tosses, hula-hooping (where we hung out a LOT), snow-cone booths, tattoos, music, smoothies, sun protecting products, balance boards to mimic the surfing balance...live music... It was great! And everything was free for the participants & their families.


Official logo of this year's event!

     When it got to be time for lunch, various restaurants provided a great array of delicious food for every (including picky) food palette there!  They had pizza, hotdogs, fruit, pasta, wraps, wings... yep. Plenty of choices. And let me add, the organization of everything was mind-blowing. It was of course, set up immediately in front of a life-guard station. Everything ran like clockwork, from the way they divided the surfers, before the event even started, to the way the MANY surfboards were laid out, to the vinegar spray for "potential" jellyfish stings, tents for activities, services... Can you tell? We had a great time!


It's ALWAYS time for Rachel to dance! (NO judgements at this event-just encouragement!)

          Two groups went ahead of Rachel's (white-banded) group. She was soooo excited! While we were waiting, she was watching the others, getting excited for her turn. A very nice pro-surfer approached us & asked if we would like him to be our volunteer. He talked with us before they raised Rachel's group's white flag, indicating it was "time"! There were probably 5 or 6 additional helpers for Rachel's assistance. They headed out and suddenly, I saw her jump! Jellyfish sting! She attempted to go out 3 different times after that, but wound up with 4 jellyfish stings. And, of course the volunteers were getting stung, chest to toe. "We" finally decided to wait  & see if the jellies moved out. Unfortunately they were swarming all day, but it didn't cause us to have a bad day. We still had a blast! Rachel danced to the music...etc for over 6 hours! No Judging Day! THANK-YOU SURFERS for AUTISM! And I have never felt better about "our" life. It was wonderful being with other families that know the challenges, but are making the most of every good opportunity. A very encouraging day!


Rachel exiting the surf with her amazing Volunteer, surfing pro! OUCH!

       I would love to hear from you, readers, about any other opportunities, that you have encountered, that might be helpful for others! Any recommendations? And would, certainly, encourage anyone to get involved with this group, whether to volunteer, register a surfer, financially support... It was an amazing opportunity, that we are so appreciative of!
      
     Now, for a few interesting observations: the kids kept the cut-out toss boards, spotless. Some were consumed with making sure NO sand stayed on the boards during the games. Rachel's donation seemed to be sorting and stacking the hula-hoops in order according to size, color, bends in them... She would ONLY use the sparkly solid pink one, that had a slight bend. Some kids would not lay on the surfboards when they were on land, but happily "rode a wave" in the actual surf! Many kids, including Rachel covered their ears with the "loud" live music, all the while she was dancing. We saw many tops of heads, as there was limited eye-contact for some. Some had sensory issues, unique eating habits, some had "inappropriate contact space" difficulties, obvious communication difficulties... For once, Rachel was NOT nearly, the only toe-walker; there were several others. Yes, there were several meltdowns, by some participants, awkward moments, if in the "general" population, but nothing, but acceptance and encouragement & support were available, yesterday. What more could we ask? Thank you, again! We will be back & can't wait for that opportunity!

A Time to Plant...

(Photo from 2005)

 
  Celebrating Memorial Day, today. I must admit, the occassion is meaning something different this year to me. My childhood friend, Jenny Newsom's son, Kevin Balduf, was killed in Afghanistan this month for our country. May God give comfort and strength to all those families who have given all for us! Kevin left behind a young wife, 2 young daughters, his twin, Kyle, his Mom, Jenny, Aunt Joyce, Uncle Howard and so many more family & friends.
    When Rachel said she wanted to make a card for Kevin's mom, she handed me a crayon picture of a mitten. Interesting... She then said "there are actually 2 mittens, you just can't see one of them. They are touching together to pray."
    On a completely different topic... Today is Rachel's first real day of summer vacation. And of course, that means to expect the unexpected... she is of course, an Aspie! She was watching a cartoon early this morning & came into my room to ask me "Can we plant eggs?"..... My brain was trying to recover from a migraine, so I wasn't sure what she asked. "What?"  To which she asked again "Can we plant eggs?"... immediate confusion! Followed by the "No; why did you ask that?" 
    "Well, how do you get an EGGPLANT?"... completely sincere.
     Of course... I am so slow! Got to love another Rachelism! And why is the English language so inaccurate, anyway?
    Enjoy your holiday & remember the sacrifices that so many have made for our freedoms! God bless the USA & may we bless GOD!
  

Facts of Life...

(Rosie & Rachel in years gone by)

     Wanted to share a sweet Rachelism this morning...
     If you, personally know Rachel, you know Rosebug, our dog, is her "life" (her words). Last summer, we began discussing and reading about changes. Changes that occur as a girl becomes a young woman... Interesting to say the least! And that's pretty much all I will share about that. BUT....
      Yesterday, we were talking about Rosie. "Is she ever going to have puppies?..."  So, trying to be creative, but give her a picture she could understand.... I explained that Rosie's "nest" had been removed when she was young, so she would never have puppies. Quiet....Thinking...Quiet... "So, Rosie's eggs are gone?".... Yes....(Sigh of relief; she understands.)  Not!
    More silence & look of concern on Rachel's face... She began loving on Rosie, looking kind of concerned again.... Then she asked "Are there some very special birds watching over & caring for Rosie's eggs?" It was another innocent Aspie conversation, that I will probably remember forever. Smiles....
      

Aspie-Perfect Description

    On a lighter note, this Saturday morning....
    Our yard and all of our area yards have been in desperate need of rain. So, when some clouds rolled in yesterday afternoon, excitement & hope were the "words" around here! (Daytona area) We even heard the promising roll of thunder...we got the winds, cloud, thunder... rain? not so much, if any, at our house.
   So, this morning, I asked Rachel if she thought we got any rain last night. To which she replied: "I think so. The yard looks a little MOISTURIZED"! Perfect beginning of a day with an Aspie!

Sometimes the Truth Hurts....

    Well, what can I say? Thankfully it's Friday! No school for 2 days! Today (aka Rachel), started out in a good mood. By the time I picked her up at 3:05 from school, some things had changed. Or had they?
    It was book fair week at school this week. Rachel chose a story about bullies and how to handle them. (I'm now thinking we should have read the whole book...FASTER!) Bullies have been an increasing problem for Rachel at school. Aspies do not understand the social cues the way others do, nor do they always know when to keep silent. We always tell our children to be honest, BUT sometimes I forget to remind Rachel that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Of course these 2 rules seem complete opposites to her.
    Here goes our afternoon.... Her teacher meets me at my car in the pick-up line at school. I can tell, she does not look like she is happy it's Friday. Everything ran through my mind in speed of light time. I then reassured myself, how bad could it be? No one called me today from the school. Whew. Maybe the teacher was just tired. hmmmm
    I didn't have to wait long to hear that there had been an "incident", today. Swallow hard. "What happened?" Teacher says, "well, Rachel damaged some property and will have to repay the other student for the replacement." Uh oh.
   Her teacher went on to explain "I don't encourage the children to autograph each other's school shirts, but it was happening some today." O.K. Rachel explained that in "the past tense", when I was in school, we signed each other's yearbooks. But, now, they use their school shirts to write on at the end of the year. Still sounds fairly innocent, but could tell by Mrs. Adkin's demeanor that this was not so friendly.
    Mrs. Adkins proceeded to tell me that Rachel had been asked to "sign" a little girl's shirt.

    Here is where I will remind you of Rachel's lifelong friend, Mollie! Mollie and her family have always been there for Rachel and she feels fiercely loyal to them, as do I. Apparently, some of the girls were taking sides and picking on Mollie. Rachel just could not ignore it. So, knowing the importance of telling the truth,, Rachel "signs" (not knowing she was just supposed to sign her name) the little girl's shirt, who was being less than nice to Mollie. Rachel said she "signed" it: "Stop doing what you are doing to Mollie." She simply "signed" the girl's shirt & didn't want that girl to pick on her friend.

    Well, needless to say, the way she showed her loyalty was "unappreciated" by the shirt owner, (although highly appreciated by Mollie), and the teacher....  She was promptly put in time out in the corner of the classroom. And now will repay for the girl to get a new shirt.

    I can certainly understand the importance of respecting other people's property, and understand her duty to replace the shirt, but I must say, the line felt a little blurry to me, so far as explaining how important it is that you stand up for your friends, but in a non-hurtful way. Life is so complicated these days. 

   Sometimes..."writing the truth, hurts". I am sad that it all happened, but I also think it's kind of sweet, that Rachel loves her friend and wants to protect her. I'm writing about this to show, how Aspies have even more than the normal trouble, dealing with social situations.

   We, as parents, need wisdom, above and beyond any norm, to know how to handle these situations and how to train & prepare them for everyday situations. Have a great weekend! Love your friends!

  

I Stand Corrected...Again!

     If you ever think you are rarely wrong...you are not living with an Aspie. I learn everyday, something I assumed was one way, is not!
     Last Saturday, I phoned in 9 scripts to be refilled at CVS. They have been our pharmacy of choice, since we moved in our house, 2 years ago. One thing I do know, is you have to allow plenty of time, in case they need to reorder, get a prior approval, etc. You know the drill.
    I was feeling pretty pleased with myself for remembering 3 days ahead of time. On Monday afternoon, a very nice lady called to let me know they were all ready for pick-up. Things are flowing so smoothly...I think!
    Rosie accompanied me on our normal routine of picking up Rachel from school. Our pharmacy is between the house & school, so it was convenient to pick up the meds on the way home. Since Rosie was in the car, I decided to make use of the "convenient" drive-thru, so Rose wouldn't  get overheated...after all they were "all ready for pick-up".
    Twenty-five minutes later, I was finally signing for the meds & getting them, when Rachel straight-faced said: "I thought this was a drive-thru, not a WAIT-thru"! Could not agree more, after I stopped laughing and thought about it! She said CVS needed to change the sign to "Wait-thru"!
    I sometimes think an Aspie could straighten out this world, with a little guidance. Enjoy your weekend!

Use your NOODLE!

   I'm thinking by now, if you are a blog follower of Parenting Asperger's, you could write this for me...

  This morning, Rachel was asking for help with something, to which I replied: "Use your noodle"! As there was silence for a couple of minutes, I wrongfully assumed she had figured out what she needed. Only to be reminded, when she asked :"Do I need one that I can eat OR one for the swimming pool?"

   Have a great Thursday!

Bad prophets? & Raining Babies!

      A news story just came on TV about World War II veterans being taken to see their war memorial in Washington D.C. These people were very humble heros. As Rachel and I were talking about heros....the commentator gave credit for these special vets getting to go to D.C. to a "non-profit" group, honoring them.
    We continued discussing heros and their unselfish sacrifices... Then, suddenly, Rachel says "Are prophets bad?" So we discuss Biblical prophets for a little bit ('til I gave up for now). Then she says..."Well, if prophets are good, then non-prophets are bad?"...."so why did they take those heros to Washington D.C., if they are bad?"
    I'm soooo confused....  ;0)  Fun morning already with an Aspie! Trying to explain why a "non-profit" is a good thing.... You get the pix; we've been in circles...
    Coming up next....did you know babies come from rain? We are off to a "Baby Shower" at 10:00 this morning...I told Rachel I will run if it starts raining babies! Yes, she briefly thought a baby would be "rained down" at the baby shower. I'm thinking the Mom-to-be would like that!
      Happy Easter Weekend!

New's piece on Asperger's

The Today Show is airing a segment about dealing with Asperger's, today, Friday, the 15th!

Looking for a good challenge?

Just a quick vent on my part. If you ever want to be totally frustrated....just try explaining tennis to an Aspie! After all, the scoring goes Love, 15, 30, 40, deuce, add in, add out, game, set, match.... No real consistant pattern. Needless to say, I have had to redirect the conversation, because it does NOT make sense to an Aspie! I am not up to this challenge, today!

False Advertising

      

    Just need to get something off my mind... False advertising is IMPOSSIBLE to explain to Asperger's! We have been around & around this morning regarding "false advertising".
     Rachel informed me that next year, if she is a Honeybear, again at her school (dance team), we need to get her shoes from Payless. O.K. I remind her that's where we got them this year, as solid black sneakers with no logos, etc. are hard to find. Apparently, she was not concerned about that, but told me we would save money by getting her shoes there. Once again, I reminded her we got them there this year. "Well, yes. We will save even more next year because it's Payless." She thinks everytime we go, we get a bigger discount, apparently. I long for simplicity, selfishly, just to avoid these unwinnable discussions with an Aspie!
   Imagine our dilemma with stores such as Save-a-Lot, Save-More... You get it! Why can't things be crystal clear....OR....she might be a goldmine for some lawyer looking to file false advertising lawsuits!   ;0)

Don't Laugh At Me

    Some days are harder than others! This has been a trying few weeks at the Goodpasture residence.  I wish there was a manual for parenting Asperger's, sometimes.  But it might be discouraging & we do NOT need that. Rachel's Nana and Papa gave her the book: Don't Laugh at Me. Rachel loves it & I do everything not to cry when we read it. All of God's children are precious in His sight! What a great reminder! 


   It was one thing when people said things about her & treated her differently, but she didn't notice. It's so much harder as she's becoming aware that her peers see her as "different" and say things to & about her. Maybe, I'm just extra sensitive & protective, but it is a trying time! May God bless us all with wisdom, patience & energy to run this race!

"A Rose by any other name...."

     Does your heart need a little warming? This Valentine, by Rachel, brought me to sweet, happy tears! She made & wrote it for her "best friend", Rosebug! We have had Rosie for going on 5 years this summer. And she has added so much happiness to our lives (& a few frustrations) and increased Rachel's capacities of caring & empathy more than any human could.
    Here is the Valentine she made & wrote for her "best friend", Rose!

In case you have trouble reading from the picture, it says:

"Dear Rosebug,                                          2-14-11

Thank-you for being my dog.

I couldn't live without you.

You mean a bunch of flowers to me.

Love,

     Rachel"

 Friends are golden!    'Nough said!

House Rules by Jodi Piccoult

   If you enjoy reading Jodi Piccoult and learning how Asperger's can affect the life of an Aspie, as well as their family, you might enjoy this book. It is fiction, but it certainly could happen & actually hits on a few of my fears/concerns for our future. Can you imagine law enforcement understanding an Aspie? Me neither!

                   Synopsis from back bookcover:

 

"When your son can’t look you in the eye . . . does that mean he’s guilty?    Jacob Hunt is a teen with Asperger’s syndrome. He’s hopeless at reading social cues or expressing himself well to others, though he is brilliant in many ways. But he has a special focus on one subject—forensic analysis. A police scanner in his room clues him in to crime scenes, and he’s always showing up and telling the cops what to do. And he’s usually right.

    But when Jacob’s small hometown is rocked by a terrible murder, law enforcement comes to him. Jacob’s behaviors are hallmark Asperger’s, but they look a lot like guilt to the local police. Suddenly the Hunt family, who only want to fit in, are directly in the spotlight. For Jacob’s mother, Emma, it’s a brutal reminder of the intolerance and misunderstanding that always threaten her family. For his brother, Theo, it’s another indication why nothing is normal because of Jacob.

   And over this small family, the soul-searing question looms: Did Jacob commit murder?"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              

I'm an Astronaut! Really?!?

   Almost an extended weekend... time to smile! This morning, I got a dose of education....via Rachel.
   My daughter, informed me this morning that she is an astronaut! hmm...hmm...should I inquire further? I know it will be something I have not thought of, BUT, I bite. "How are you an astronaut?".  She continued to inform me that I am an astronaut, too. Wow, my life must be more exciting and adventurous than I knew.
   Now, I'm trying to think ahead...nothing..."I don't understand what you mean, Rachel". To which she "explains", "well astronauts go & live in space, right?". To which I say "that's what I thought". She then tells me that the earth is in space, our house is on the earth, and houses are "living spaces", so we are all astronauts!
   So, next time I have a form to fill out, & there is a question of my career, I might consider "Astronaut"! Have a great weekend! To infinity and beyond...

Change? Did someone say new Dr.?

     It's been an interesting week, as usual. Rachel's Dr. left the practice in November, so we were assigned to the new one.  We got there plenty early...were signing in....the sweet lady informed me that her new Dr. was "different" from her old ones. Hmm...Different? Change? You get the anxiety!
     She had had 2 warm, friendly female Dr.s, so when told it was a man, some anxiety was shown by Rachel & a good bit was being felt by me. We were also told that patients had reported he was not so friendly, while the parents reported that they hoped he was thorough, since the connection seemed "off".
   So, with some apprehension, we followed him into his office. Once in there, we watched him write & write & write....did I say write. He hardly looked up, asked just a handful of questions & even I was feeling uncomfortable. Twenty minutes later, Rachel's hands were flapping & she was rocking back & forth in her seat. By that point, I just wanted to get out. He continued silently writing, while I tried to break the ice....it just wasn't going to happen. So after handing me the prescriptions, I breathed a sigh of relief (a little prematurely)!
   He then proceeded to ask her the obligatory questions, by most psychiatrists (however, her previous ones did not ask)! Do you have any thoughts of hurting anyone...yourself...? She just sat there, confused. With a little different wording by me, she said "NO, but sometimes it happens"! Then he asked if she ever saw things that weren't there, or heard things that weren't there? Uh oh... Total confusion from her! Then he tried to reword it & said "Do you ever see things that other people don't see?".  She immediately said "YES"! Oh dear, & we had almost made it out.
   When asked to explain, I guessed kind of what was coming. She told him everday it happens. She always sees her teacher from her seat, but some others can't always see the teacher from where they sit. (Excellent point!) He finally wrapped it up, much to my relief!
   As he was escorting us to the door, I stepped into the hall & turned around to see Rachel was not there. We stepped back into the office to see her neatly pushing all of the chairs up to his table, at just the right angles & amounts of seperation. She couldn't leave until that "job" was done! Just a little OCD! I wondered how long he would be writing once we left! But thankful to have escaped!

What makes for a more balanced woman?

   I always enjoy a smile. And this morning began with just that! We were listening to the radio, as always, on the way to school. Our radio station has a "DQ" every morning (darned question), where listeners call up guessing answers to win various prizes. So...
   Today's question was "according to Cosmo...what helps a woman feel more balanced?". The expected answers were being called in: enough sleep, eating right, exercising... But Rachel "knew" they were all off!
   Her, near, immediate answer was..."You have to wear matching shoes to be balanced!" True enough!   ;0)   There's an Aspie moment!
   As the guessing was continuing on the way to school a caller guessed something to which the DJ's gave a hint...yes, "it has something to do with appearance". That set Rachel's thinking off again. Then she suddenly said: "Well, I guess it has to be having a baby." ....hmmm....hmmm, I cave, "Why is that?"...To which she answers, "Well, you have to have a baby to be 'a parent'."
   Enjoy your day. Look for the good!

p.s. The radio "correct" answer was to wear lipstick. Rachel insisted that made No Sense at all!

"NO".... What do you mean?

     Daily "battles" & confusion with an Aspie....
So... this morning, we are preparing for a wonderful Sunday, of worship and no school, of course! As I am making up my bed, today, I ask Rachel (as I have to do everyday-part of the routine) "Have you folded up your bankets"?
    Not a hard or unusual question, you would have to agree. Unless, you are trying to communicate with an Aspie! Rachel answered my question with a loudly yelled "NO"! ....keep calm...keep calm...it's not the answer, but the way she answered. She screamed "NO"!
     I found my diplomatic, but frustrated question..."what do you mean, NO?". To which she informed me..."I don't have blankets...I only used ONE blanket."

     Oh, the difference one letter can make to an Aspie & those communicating with them. She was not trying to be "ugly", just ACCURATE! Enjoy your Sunday!

Inspiring poetry for families of "Differently-Abled" Children

 |   Wanted to share with you 2 poems regarding raising our special children. And honestly, ALL children are gifts from God, special & unique in their own ways. Hope this gives you encouragement, as we walk this life, knowing that God is in control!


WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by
Emily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved


"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique
experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like
this......


When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy.
You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful
plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may
learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.


After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."


"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm
supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."


But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and
there you must stay.


The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible,
disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just
a different place.


So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have
met.


It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than
Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath,
 you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has
windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.


But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what
I had planned."


And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the
loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to
Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely
things ... about Holland."




The Special Mother
Quoted by Erma Bombeck     * not sure of the author


"Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation.   As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"This one gets a daughter.   The Patron saint will be Cecelia"
"This one gets twins.   The Patron saint will be Matthew"
"This one gets a son.   The Patron saint.....give her Gerard.   He's used to profanity"
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles.  "Give her a disabled child".
The angel is curious.  "Why this one God? She's so happy"
"Exactly," smiles God.  "Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter?  That would be cruel!"
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair.   Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it.   I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother.   You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world.   She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."


"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you"
God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that.   This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness"
The angel gasps - "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods.  "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally she won't survive.   Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.   She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied.   She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'.   She will never consider any 'step' ordinary.   When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it.   I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty and prejudice...and allow her to rise above them.   She will never be alone.  I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side"
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.  
God smiles "A mirror will suffice"

Allison is a Disney Character! Really?

      So, this afternoon, we made a routine stop at the pharmacy for meds. Rachel has come home the last 2 days early from school, with headaches/seizures.... Just one of those weeks, I guess...
      But, as usual, there is always something to make me smile when Rachel is around. We were in our usual position...I was standing, waiting "patiently" for her medications & she was sprawled out in the massage chair at the pharmacy. She finally got her coordination together enough to awkwardly walk to the counter with me, without help.
     There was one of those photo card displays by the register. And there was an attractive young blond girl in a blue dress on one of them. Rachel said "I think I know her"....Of course I responded with "Who is she?". She said the girl looked like "Allison". So my mind is racing to all the Allisons I could think of. I asked if it was Allison S. from church...."no". How 'bout my cousin Allison, that is "hanging" on our fridge? "NO!" I have to back out of this guessing game & ask directly who Allison is.
    And, silly, silly me was not expecting her "obvious" answer..."She's Allison Wonderland!".

The Obvious (but what is NOT for an Aspie?)

     This morning started off in typical form. Getting showers, medications, readying for school...Routines are so important. Even changing the order of Rachel's medication can throw the entire day off! She was excited about turning her 4th grade Social Studies' Project in today.
     We got in our car and started to school. We listen to the same morning radio program each day on the way. Our station has a daily "DQ"- "Darned Question".
     Rachel always has the obvious answer & today was no exception. Here's the question: "You change your undies everyday, your oil every 3 months, your smoke detector batteries, 2 times a year...What should you change once a year?". Hmmm. There were several guesses, such as your password on your computer... Rachel couldn't believe no one could figure out the clearly obvious answer. Without even a blink, she said: "you change the number of candles on your birthday cake"...then, her eyes got really big as she said: "that is a trick question, because you also should change your calender once a year".
    I tried calling in with her answer(s), but fortunately for me, the line was busy. But I did send an e-mail to the morning DJ, Leslye on Magic 107.7, regarding her funny, but true answer. They actually read it on the air & enjoyed her simplistic observation. I wish she had still been in the car to hear it. FYI- the eventual "correct" answer was to change your ATM pin number once a year. (Kind of glad she wasn't in the car to hear that answer, as that would have led to an endless conversation, that would never have been understood.)
     Thought, you, too might enjoy a smile with this Rachelism! Have a great weekend!
     

Mockingbird by Kathryn Erskine -a must read

     Wanted to share with you an exceptional book! I was recently at the beloved Davis-Kidd bookstore closing sale in Nashville. Above the many treasures I found heavily discounted, was a recommendation by the lady checking my piles of books out. She noticed several books on special needs/ Autism... And out of the blue, asked me if I had read Mockingbird, yet. After telling her I had not even heard of it, she informed me it was about a young girl with Asperger's, and continued on, telling me how much it changed the way she understood Asperger's and differences in thinking. That was enough for me.

   They were already sold out, but as soon as I got back to Florida, I went to Barnes & Noble & found this treasure! If you are interested in a good read, this is one! (it is currently on sale at Barnes & Noble on-line) I read it in an afternoon. Could not put it down until I finished it! Although it is fictional, the author did a lot of research on Asperger's & completely nailed it! I felt like I knew this little girl, Caitlin. And I also realized I'm not alone in raising an Aspie. Although there are a wide range of characteristics, some things are just "black and white"! I am sharing a quote from the author's website regarding/introducing the book.

              "MOCKINGBIRD  (National Book Award, 2010)

 In Caitlin’s world, everything is black or white.  Things are good or bad.  Anything in between is confusing.  That’s the stuff Caitlin’s older brother, Devon, has always explained.  But now Devon’s dead, and her father cries a lot.  Caitlin wants to get over it, but as an eleven-year-old girl with Asperger’s, she doesn’t know how.  When she reads the definition of “closure” in the dictionary, she realizes that is what she and her father need.  In her search for Closure, Caitlin discovers that not everything is black and white--the world is full of colors--messy and beautiful, and it is through this discovery that she embarks on a road which leads her to find both healing and Closure."

         If you do get the book & read it, I would love to get your take on it. And, if you have any other books that you recommend, please share them with us. Thank you for your support & encouragement!

Confusion at Church

    Oh literalism, you have again caused Rachel confusion & me a difficult time, trying to help Rachel understand symbolism.
     Rachel's lifelong buddy, Mollie, was recently baptized. It was so very exciting to learn of Mollie's decision & her desire to serve Christ. I was out of town when it occurred, but Mom was here with Rachel & happily went with Rachel to Beville Road Church of Christ to witness & rejoice with Mollie & her family!
    Mom had already told me about it, and when I got home, Rachel began sharing a little about it. She kind of dropped the subject (which never happens with Asperger's, as they go on & on..... for hours, days, even weeks & months about things, completely obsessing).
    I was somewhat relieved that she had shared, but did NOT obsess. Silly me...while I was thinking she had moved on to other current events, I was suddenly made aware that she was still pondering Mollie's decision. Rachel, finally, one day said: "I think it would be good to be a Christian, but I don't want to eat a person."!
    How do you explain that the Lord's Supper is "symbolic" to someone who does not understand or think in symbolic terms? All this time, at church, & she thought we were cannibals. After a long talk, I still am not sure she understands the symbolic/substitute factor. All of this I'm sharing to let you understand how many of the things we take for granted, can be so baffling to an Aspie!
    While I'm on the subject of church...I am reminided of how many terms, adjectives, etc. I need to use when describing things to Rachel. After several people that were greatly loved passed, the subject of heaven came up, time after time. Rachel knew that it is going to be beautiful, perfect, great, happy...But one day, she caught me by surprise, when she asked me if "heaven was a good place?". After I reassured her & we talked a while, she informed me, that no one had ever said "heaven is good". She was needing to hear it worded like that. I'm just thankful that she asked me, instead of continuing to think it was not good, simply because she had not heard anyone state it with the word "good". Words are important to everyone & I have been reminded, there is no way to overclarify with an Aspie!

"Gross"...Harry Potter?

   Oprah was on last Friday, at our house. She was doing an interview with the one & only J.K. Rowling. She is the tremendously successful author of the Harry Potter series (fyi- for the possible 1 person on the planet unaware...). Rachel happened to be walking through the room, when she said "Yes, Harry Potter IS gross.".
    O.K. Under normal circumstances, I would choose to ignore that comment, but when you try to interpret what an Aspie says, it actually made sense. Rachel heard Oprah quoting how much Ms. Rowling had "grossed" from her Harry Potter series. How else could she possibly interpret that? I just laughed quietly; briefly tried to explain the meant meaning & finally, just decided to let that one go. Some things are more trouble to explain, than what the actual difference is, anyway!
      (No, she has never read them or seen the movies, but just the movie trailers led her to believe Harry Potter is "gross".)